So, there are some ch- ch- ch- changes that I’ve done.. I figure it was about time you know, seeing as many other aspects of my life have revolutionized as well, in ways that I have to admit, never saw coming. You see, some people just have a knack of sensing change in their life, you know, they can somehow predict when change is coming, well, I’m not one of them, change has a way of just walking up and punching me in the face. Anyway, I’m not exactly one who is perfectly at peace with change, not that any of us actually are, but not the point here, point is that I’m pretty sure that from this point onward, it ain’t gonna get any better. The changes won’t come like ruffles in the wind, they’ll come drastically and abruptly. I know they’re coming, but it doesn’t make it any less drastic or any more gradual, and I’m just going to have to get used to it.

Sigh.. But anyway, in a few hours, well, more like minutes actually, I’ve to go and be tortured again, not because of what I’ve to do which is run around like a maniac [it’s part of the job description], not even because of the things and people I’ve to put up with but because I’ve to endure watching those young beautiful things holding on tight to their dreams, something I’ve not been so blessed with. I feel a pang, and I actually envy them for having the luxuries they have, to be able to want, to be able to afford to want, because I for one cannot.

Some people just never let go, and sometimes I wish I had that strength, that courage, that undeniable spark and determination to hold on, but I didn’t, and every now and again, the lack of [lack of being a generous term here, none at all being the more accurate one] practice robs me of something and I lose something else, another bit of flexibility, agility, technique that I spent years building and soon I’m gonna be as stiff as a board and it’ll all just be a memory, a used to be.

Another change in my life I’ll have to get used to.

Amidst of the craziness, results were out for my first semester and I went to take a peek after my shift yesterday, before they mailed a copy for my parents, and I think its safe for me to say that my parents will be disappointed, my lecturers definitely were, I could see that they were, [or rather she] but then again, they put me on a pedestal, they’re convinced I can do better. The disappointment is daunting because it just tells you how much they think of me, I’m disappointed because I wanted to have done better but my lecturers, my parents, they, on the other hand, think I could have unquestionably done better, which is actually a great deal of difference. Not only its terrifying but its that much more pressure.. Aiks!

Oh, and yes, I’ve also found time to write, creativity doesn’t rest see, (Yes, Self flattery) Anyway, I’ll post it here when I find the time to copy and paste it, as of now, I’ve got to go. Signing out with the usual..

“Nothing endures but change.”


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