Change.

The more things change, the more they stay the same. I’m not exactly sure who first said it. Shakespeare probably. Or Sting. Or.. Maybe Plato, or Socrates.

Well, whoever it was, he (or she) has got people pretty much all pegged up, I would think. Because it’s probably the sentence that best explains one of my many many flaws. Yes, I am talking about my stubborn inability to change. Or rather my stubborn ability to resist change. And somehow, I don’t think I’m alone in this. The more I get to know people, myself and other people, the more I realize.. It’s kind of everyone’s flaw. One way or another. Staying exactly the same for as long as possible, hoping, that you can stare ‘em down. Because you know that if you embrace it, you might not be able to adapt to it. So you stop moving and stay perfectly still.

Because it feels.. Safer somehow. Because even if you’re suffering, at least the pain is familiar. Because if you decide to make that move, go outside the box, do something.. Unexpected… Who knows what other pain might be out there, waiting for you. Chances are, it could be worse. So you maintain the status quo. Choose the road already traveled because it doesn’t seem that bad compared to the endless possibilities that there are out there.

Because as far as flaws go, it doesn’t seem that bad does it? You’re not a drug addict, you’re not killing anyone, you’re not harming anything.. Except maybe a teeny tiny bit of yourself but.. What is the harm of that really?

So when we finally do make that move, you know, take that leap of faith with a sudden newfound courage within ourselves, it doesn’t exactly happen like an earthquake or an explosion, where the world would suddenly stop revolving and the stars cease to stay up in the heavens because all of a sudden we’re this different person, standing in a whole new light, viewing the world in a totally different perspective.

Change as Steinbeck puts it, comes like a little wind that ruffles the curtains at dawn, like the stealthy perfume of wildflowers hidden in the grass, small and almost always unnoticeable to those around you. Unless they looked really really REALLY hard of course, which in all honesty, when do people ever anyway?

But you see, though the earth probably won’t spew lava forth and time itself won’t be at a standstill and the universe would not explode, it IS phenomenal and you will notice it. You. Inside you, that change will feel like.. A seismic world of a difference, a whole.. Heart pounding, throat thickening, skin volcanic, brain cells dying a difference within you and you hope. You hope against hope that this is it. This is the person you get to be forever and ever and.. You’ll never have to change again.

And then you stay perfectly still. Until you decide to move. Again.

So I’ll end by saying, yes, 2009, for me, was a blessed year. Because 2009 was a year of change for me.

Of course, there were the up’s and down’s. Many things happened, not just in my life, but out there, many life changing events happened in the big big world, some wins, some tragic losses, but it was great because of the changes it brought to ME. And for that, I am grateful and look forward to another year of challenges and maybe some more changes.

Yes, I am also aware that I am some couple of days late on the whole New Year’s post thingy but hey, better late than never I suppose, so..

Hello 2010.

“Change comes like a little wind that ruffles the curtains at dawn, and it comes like the stealthy perfume of wildflowers hidden in the grass.”
John Steinbeck.

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