Some You Win, Some You Lose.

Lately, I’ve just been trying to figure out which battles are worth fighting and which aren’t. Because a lot of things have been happening, and amidst a lot of all these things, I feel like every time I hear or see something that’s so blatantly ignorant, arrogant or hypocritical or just plain wrong and I don’t say or do something about it, I’m compromising my own integrity.

I feel like I allow it to happen, and by doing that, I allow it to continue, and by doing that I let what’s NOT okay, become okay.

I would say I’m a very objective person. And rational. But at the same time, when things become personal, I guess you could also say that I can become pretty emotional. Because I come to expect a lot from myself and the people around me, which I can understand is a real pain in the ass, but sometimes, there are some things are just not acceptable.

And so, I pipe-up and say what’s on my mind and do what I feel is right, and people say I’m being too intense, or that I’m taking things too seriously, or that I’m overreacting.

But the thing is, I look in the mirror when I brush my teeth every morning, she’s right there. This person that I have to live with and I realize that if I don’t stand up for myself, who will? If I don’t stand up for people who don’t have a voice in a situation, who will? Yes, I’m in the minority here, squeezed into this small bracket of people who actually WILL do/say something when they see a wrong, but is it any reason to compromise my integrity and what I feel is right?

Just because the Me’s out there in the world are few and very far in between in comparison to the people who just don’t give a fuck and will never get why I do the things I do, does that mean that I have to just take and accept the crap that people throw nowadays? Well, I think not. As a matter of fact, I WILL not.

So I guess what I’m saying is, whether or not I succeed in getting my message across, or get people to understand why I do the things I do or how I can feel so strongly about certain things, I’ll do what’s right by me anyway. Because at the end of the day, I have to live with Me and the decisions that I make, and that’s just that.

So these are just what have been on my mind lately. Nothing new, but the past weeks offered up incidents that made me think, which is partly why I’ve been so quiet on here. I’m still trying to figure out where I draw my lines. But I guess you win some and you lose some right?

“Nothing is at last sacred but the integrity of your own mind.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson.


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