I’ve been cleaning. And with cleaning comes finding things you’ve forgotten about. And finding things you’ve forgotten about comes sitting down and riffling through old stuff like letters and pictures and things that have lied in the wait, expecting to be given the chance to jump out and devour you like a hungry tiger on the prowl.

And the thing is with all this old stuff, is that is has the chance of swaying both ways. It can leave you with a gaping hole in your heart and make it throb almost unbearably, or leave you smiling like an idiot for the rest of the day.

Reading through my adolescent time journal, I found an entry, just before my sixteenth birthday. About wanting to stay fifteen and how being fifteen gives me the immunity to act childish and immature. Which struck me slightly as odd as I remember most of my teenage years wanting to be older. Wanting to have a chance to take the steps and fly out into the world. Wanting to be able to call my own shots.

As I read on about how I wanted things to stay simple, I kind of start to see the point I was trying to make. But it’s funny because all the things that were such a big deal then, things that I deemed to complicate the life of an angsty teen girl, I don’t even remember half of them anymore.

Which only led me to wonder, if you have had the courage ride out those pains, would they have still been such a big deal?

I guess I just. Miss you.

“And I’m hanging on to the words you say.”


One Response

  1. brilliant song choice (:

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