Not Everybody.

I check my hair, my face, smoothen out my clothes and walk out of the car. There was a nervous flutter in my walk. A thing I didn’t understand.

I see the unmistakable  grin from a mile away and it’s weird when I think how edgy I am. Because within minutes, whatever my unfounded fears or nerves were about, it proved to be exactly that. Groundless and for no reason.

Which completely goes against what we’ve been taught I mean it’s out of sight out of mind. Isn’t that how the saying goes?

Isn’t that how you forget how certain songs meant the world to you at 16?

Isn’t that how you can forgive someone whom you just hours ago wanted to punch in their irritating mofo face once you’re home and cooled down?

Isn’t that how you forget about the message you were meant to send yesterday when you saved it in drafts to send later?

Isn’t that how you get over someone when you break up? Not see them, not talk to them, not even think of them?

Out of sight, out of mind.

And so I walk down that road, flutters in my stomach, reminding myself things change and dynamics shift and understandings fade. But then you throw your arms around me, a tight embrace of old friends reuniting. And we talked. And talked. And talked.

And then I realize, sometimes, some things don’t change.

Sometimes you exit someone’s physical life for days, weeks, months or even years and it still feels like you only last saw them yesterday. And hello’s will always come as easily as it always has been.

“I am lonely, yet not everybody will do. I don’t know why, some people fill the gaps and others emphasize my loneliness.”
Anais Nin


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